The opinions expressed in this article are respective of their various authors and not necessarily representative of the views of United Response or the Cheriton Community Network.

Anxiety consumed much of my childhood and 20s.  I struggled with panic attacks, social anxiety, phobias, psychosis, disassociation, health anxiety, OCD and a mix of other mental health disorders.

My physical and mental experiences of anxiety are too many to mention; to name a few I have been down, low, depressed, physically pained, achy, tired; I got: Overweight, underweight, I became recluse, I lost my sense of self and reality, I experienced it all.

My anxiety had a significant impact on my life.  It stopped me from doing thousands of things and made thousands of other experiences all the more difficult.

I made numerous attempts to cope with, or even better, rid myself of anxiety. 

When I was younger I had limited medications or medical intervention.  Mental health support wasn’t then, what it is now.  But regardless, I wasn’t the most cooperative or receptive either.

I tried hundreds of techniques to better my situation, some better than others.

Any relief was temporary, if not fleeting; anxiety still plagued my life.

I had various periods of ups, downs and temporary stability, but the wretched thing, anxiety, stayed with me. 

That was one of the first clues that I was doing it all wrong, it stayed with me; it was always with me.  Anxiety couldn’t be cured or beaten, it isn’t an illness or plague, it was my well-intentioned companion, whether I liked it or not.  My anxious brain just wanted to help, poor thing. 

One of the best things I learned about this was how humans evolved to be relentless problem solvers to keep us alive.  If you tell the brain there isn’t a problem, or that the problem is gone, it can still say – are you sure? 

If you try to distract yourself – the brain will say, there’s something this fellow needs help with, therefore there must be a problem.  The brain won’t be satisfied the problem is solved when you stop distracting yourself, that was one of many discoveries.

The events that led me to a life of somewhat peace with anxiety were numerous and it was a slow, compounding process.

Ultimately the staying power came in one of the lowest points in my life – I was not in a good way.

I was experiencing frequent episodes of disassociation, numbness, panic, sleeplessness, worry and health anxiety.  I could no longer work effectively.  I wasn’t doing much; I lost weight, had little energy and I couldn’t think clearly.

I had to take a risk, I had to do something.

My Turning Point – Seeking Professional Help

I had avoided it for most if not all of my life, I sought proper help.

I searched for the best I could get, a private therapist who wasn’t exactly cheap, but fortunately, I could afford it.

The money seemed pointless if I couldn’t get myself out of the rut I was in.

I did wonder what on earth this therapist was doing for some time, but I stuck with him and my life changed unimaginably after several months.

I ended up seeing my therapist for two years.  He didn’t just resolve my problem with anxiety then, he helped to set me up for life.  And as my Dad used to say, if a job is worth doing, it’s worth doing properly. 

The trouble I’ve found with free help on the NHS is that it’s often too fleeting, not specialist enough.  I had a whole lifetime of anxiety to resolve, that wasn’t going to happen in 6 or even 12 CBT or counselling sessions.  I needed long-term therapy, I had to be realistic.

When I first started seeing my therapist he said “I’m a tailor”, I’m going to get you a suit you can wear for life – and that’s what he did. 

Another important turning point early on was agreeing to try the medication that I am still on today, which in my therapist’s words “provided a window”, for him to step in and help.

Believe me, I’d prefer not to take medication, but it’s a weigh-up between a fruitful, happy life and one of turmoil and struggle.  It makes my life easier and healthier, I can do so much more now.

I still get anxious but rarely.  If I do get anxious it doesn’t affect me as much as it used to.

Anxiety has had a big impact on my life and I can’t expect to live in some kind of utopia, but I have found some peace.

And in the words of my inaugural poem following my treatment, I had not only found the eye of the storm, but the storm had passed, I was in the calm, still waters of the lagoon, clear blue skies all around.

And what can you do about a storm? Nothing, you just have to go with it and wait for it to pass; and storms always do pass.

Your experiences with anxiety will likely be very different to mine.  We aren’t all the same, and different approaches work for different people.

My Best Advice

• Don’t try to beat anxiety, you can’t.  It’s a failsafe, to keep us alive, hardwired deep in our brains.
• Get the best help you can find.
• Find techniques to learn to accept anxiety, it can’t be beaten or cured, it won’t go away, it just wants to help you.
• If you aren’t coping on your own, find the best therapist you can.

There are 101 other pieces of advice I could give from my experiences, but that will only serve to overwhelm you. 

Find what works for you. 

There’s a lot of help out there, and much for free too, take advantage.  The universal language of the world is love, people want to help, you just have to let them and there are so many clever, amazing people all over the world, including in Folkestone and the surrounding areas.

Peace to you all.

Oliver